


we’ll take the world by storm (it isn’t that hard)

by lotts (LottieAnna)



Series: covering spaces [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Lapdance, M/M, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties, Strippers & Strip Clubs, a soft stripper au to kick off the weekend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-26 04:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13850400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LottieAnna/pseuds/lotts
Summary: “Don’t worry, I’ll be professional about this.”Tito laughs, surprised, nervous, incredibly turned on. “Professional,” he repeats.Mat leans away, which Tito is sad about for about half a second, until Mat grabs his hands and runs them over his thighs. “I mean, this is my job.” He raises an eyebrow. “I’ve been told I’m pretty good at it.”





	we’ll take the world by storm (it isn’t that hard)

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU FOUND THIS THROUGH GOOGLING, KNOW ANYONE MENTIONED IN THIS STORY PERSONALLY, OR ARE MENTIONED YOURSELF: please, please click away. This is a work of fiction and nothing written in this story is true. Any accurate information used in this story is publicly available information about public figures, the rest is made up, 100%.
> 
> I added "Dear Maria, Count Me In" to my Mat playlist, so. No other excuse for any of this. Thanks to Ang, Ash, and FTC for their invaluable help in editing and cheerleading, and thanks to Aimee for advising on this as well. This is in no way an accurate depiction of sex work, just a reason to imagine Mat in very short shorts. 
> 
> Extra tags in the endnotes, plus some bonus content!

So, Tito’s life falls apart at Mitch Marner’s bachelor party. 

Like, for the record, it’s a really impromptu bachelor party, because the fact that Mitch Marner is getting married is kind of wild. Like, sure, he and Matthews have been practically engaged since the day they met, but they’ve only really been dating for two years, and they’re 20, which is the same age as Tito, and is, in Tito’s opinion, way too young to be married. 

Not that that’s any of Tito’s business. He’s friends with Mitch in the sense that they run in the same circles, share a few classes, and lived on the same floor freshman year, but they’re not super close, or anything. Mitch has plenty of best friends, so it would probably fall to one of them to talk him out of what may or may not be a huge life mistake. 

Or, any of them besides Dylan Strome, because really, that’s not a responsibility he should be trusted with. 

But plenty of Mitch’s friends seem like actual, responsible adults, so if Mitch is throwing away his life, they’d know better than Tito. 

As it stands, Tito swung an invitation to the bachelor party, and he’s not turning that down. 

Nominally, Stromer’s the one planning this, but based on the limo that picked them up at the library before they hit the first bar and the enormous wad of singles that was shoved into Tito’s hand, Tito would bet that it’s been a collaborative effort between him and Connor, with Dylan having full creative control and Connor supplying the financial backing. Perks of having a friend with a rich best friend, Tito figures. 

Actually, money hasn’t been super tight lately, but that’s mostly because of Tito’s newly-developed sick budgeting skills. Or, like, he’s stopped ordering takeout so much and started drinking instant coffee instead of going to Starbucks, but still. He’s got a little bit of cash to burn, is the point, which is good, because aside from the limo champagne, they’ve been on their own for buying drinks. 

“Hey, where’s Barzy?” Crouser asks, as they all pile out of the limo and into the parking lot of their third destination that night, which is, unsurprisingly, a strip club. 

“He's coming later, I think,” Tito says. “He’s working tonight.” 

Mitch, who is wearing a broken tiara and has glitter on his cheek, turns around. “He is?” 

“That’s what he told me earlier,” Tito says. 

“Stromer, did you do this on purpose?” 

Dylan smiles, a little proud. “I may have asked Merks to switch some shifts around.” 

“Oh my god,” Mitch says, then stops walking so he can give a laughing Dylan Strome a hug. “That’s such a beauty best man move.”

Tito frowns. “Why is that such good news?” 

Mitch lets go of Dylan Strome, then looks at Tito, perking up. “Wait, you don’t know?” 

“Know what?” Tito asks. “Do you have some beef with Barz that I don’t know about?” Like, no offense to Mitch, but if Tito’s gotta pick sides, he’s choosing Mat, no question. 

“No, no,” Mitch says. “It’s just—” He exchanges a look with Dylan, and then they both smile, kind of mischievous. “You’ll see.” 

“What?” Tito asks. 

Mitch and Dylan just start walking again. “You’ll see,” Dylan says, his back already turned. 

Tito looks at Crouser, who looks just as confused as he is, so they both just kind of shrug and follow the group. 

***

It takes Tito a second, once they get inside. 

He’s never actually been to a strip club before, and he’s not sure what he expected, but it is, honestly, more or less what he sees; hot dudes, short shorts, glitter, dollar bills, yaddah yaddah yaddah. 

Also, Mat. 

At first, he thinks he’s imagining it, because there are plenty of hot guys in the world who look like Mat Barzal, except they keep getting closer to the guy, and he keeps looking more and more like Mat, and then they’re  _ right there,  _ and it’s very clear that this isn’t Mat’s stripper doppelgänger, it’s just—Mat. 

Who is a stripper, apparently. 

Tito thinks back to the conversation he’d had with Mitch on the way in, and all the times Mat had small bills on hand for the vending machine, and suddenly, a few things make sense. 

“Hold up,” Stephens says. “Stromer, what the fuck?” 

Dylan looks incredibly proud of himself. “I am the  _ best  _ best man, and I won’t hear another word about it.” 

Tito’s eyes are still fixed on Mat, who still hasn’t turned around, but it seems like the group of women he’s talking to is leaving. “Holy shit,” he says. 

Maybe Mat hears him, or maybe it’s just coincidence, but either way, that’s when he notices them. That probably means that Tito should stop staring, but in his defense, Mat is wearing very tight shorts and nothing else, and he’s shimmering under the stage light. He looks even paler than usual, somehow, but also, just—unfairly, incredibly good. 

And then he  _ smiles _ . 

“Hey there,” Dylan says, smirking, and then he pushes Mitch forward. “My buddy here is getting married.” 

“And you decided to bring the bachelor party here?” Mat says, rolling his eyes a little, but fondly.

“This place comes highly recommended,” Mitch says. “According to my best man, anyway.”

“And does your fiancé know you’re here?” Mat asks. 

“Of course,” Mitch says. “I don’t get why we had to have separate bachelor parties in the first place.” 

Mat laughs, and Tito feels like he might be having a heart attack. 

“Anyway, I would be honored if you could give my dear friend a lap dance,” Dylan says, clapping his hands on Mitch’s shoulders. 

“Oh my god,” Mitch says, shaking his head and giggling a bit. “No, not me.” 

“Come on,” Dylan whines. “Matts said it was cool.” 

“I know, but,” Mitch says, then gives a helpless kind of shrug. “It’ll just make me miss him, y’know?” 

“You saw him earlier today,” TK says. 

“And you’ll see him for the rest of your life,” Stephens adds. “Till death do you part.” 

“Yeah, because I want to see him  _ all the time,”  _ Mitch says. “Besides, it’d be more fun if it was someone else.” 

Dylan turns to the group. “Alright, who’ll it be?” 

“I feel like that should be Marns’ choice,” Chabby says. 

“Hm,” Mitch says, putting a finger to his lips, and he scans the group, like he’s a director casting a movie. “Either Chabs or Beau. You guys can, like, rock-paper-scissors for it.” 

Tito turns to Chabby, who gives him a thoughtful look before glancing briefly at Mat. “I’ll let Beau take this one,” he says, then does this half-smirk thing. “No offense.” 

“None taken,” Mat says. “So, Beau, you down?” 

Tito feels a little bit like the floor is falling out from under him, but he nods, because the only good reason he has to say no is that Mat is so hot he might actually die, which is also a pretty good reason to say yes. “Sure,” he says, aiming for nonchalant and probably missing it by a couple lightyears. 

“Alright,” Mat says, nodding. “Settle in, boys.” 

As Tito sits down on the leather banquette, the world seems to move in slow motion, but then Mat’s planting one knee on either side of Tito’s hips as the song changes, and Tito looks up. 

“This okay?” Mat says, quiet enough that Tito almost doesn’t hear it over the cheering and whooping of the boys. 

“Yeah,” Tito says. 

Mat grinds down on Tito’s lap, then leans in, pressing his chest right against Tito, and his mouth right next to Tito’s ear. “Don’t worry, I’ll be professional about this.” 

Tito laughs, surprised, nervous, incredibly turned on. “Professional,” he repeats.

Mat leans away, which Tito is sad about for about half a second, until Mat grabs his hands and runs them over his thighs. “I mean, this is my job.” He raises an eyebrow. “I’ve been told I’m pretty good at it.” 

“I’ll be sure to leave a five-star review on Yelp,” Tito says, but it’s a little bit breathless, because Mat’s turning around and grinding his ass on Tito’s lap, which is as overwhelming as everything else has been so far. 

“You know, I think you’re my favorite client I’ve had tonight.”

“I bet you say that to all the guys.” 

Mat turns back around. “Only the ones whose econometrics study guides are as nice as yours,” he says, not missing a beat, and then he smiles, the same way he always does when he’s proud of a joke. It’s bizarrely familiar, something Tito’s used to seeing late at night in the library or lingering in empty classrooms, and it really hits him, then, that  _ Mat Barzal is giving him a lap dance. _

“I don’t know if those would fit in your waistband,” Tito says, kind of laughing. “All I have is cash.”  

“Cash works too,” Mat says, and Tito grabs a few bills from the front pocket of his shirt, pulls back the elastic of Mat’s shorts, and tries not to let his fingers spent too much time gently grazing Mat’s hip as he puts the money there. 

“Because you’ve been so professional,” Tito says.

“Thanks,” Mat says. “You know, you have a really nice smile.” 

It’s completely out of nowhere, and Tito has no idea how to respond to it, but he doesn’t have to, because at that moment, the song ends, Mat climbs out of his lap, and Tito, once again, feels like the floor has fallen out from under him. 

***

An hour later, Tito is sitting out on the balcony of Mitch’s house, watching Chabby and Colin exchange notes about their respective evenings. Dylan and Chucky had decided to converge the two separate bachelor parties, and then other people had gotten invited, and so now it mostly feels like a large party, which is fine by Tito. He’s not sure how Mitch and Auston feel about it, but considering the way they’d hugged for five minutes when they first saw each other, Tito suspects they really don’t care as long as they’re together. 

Again, not his problem. He’s just a guest here. 

He’s been drinking for hours now, and he’s been drunk for most of it, and there’s a beer in his hand, but honestly, he just wants some water and, like, a nap. Bar hopping is more work than it’s worth, even when the best man’s platonic sugar daddy is paying for a limo.

He’s actually considering leaving, except then he turns around and sees Mat walking up to the front door. 

“What’re you smiling at?” Chabby asks, and Tito realizes that at some point, a grin had made its way onto his face without him noticing.

“Barzy’s here,” Tito replies, too tired to be embarrassed and too happy about the arrival to try and stop smiling. 

“Wasn’t he with you guys earlier?” Colin asks. 

“Nah,” Chabby says. “He had a shift at work.” 

“Where does he work again?” Colin asks, and Tito and Chabby exchange a look. 

“I forget the name of the place,” Chabby says. Tito gets it; Colin’s fine, but he’s not really Mat’s friend. 

“I’m gonna go find him,” Tito says. 

“Nah,” Chabby says. “He’ll probably find you first.” 

Tito’s about to ask how Chabby could possibly know that, except at that moment, Mat walks out onto the balcony. 

Maybe Chabby’s psychic; he could see that happening. Considering his distressingly hot study partner is apparently a stripper, Tito figures anything’s possible.

“Hey, boys,” Mat says. “Did I miss much?”

“Not really,” Chabby says. “Glad you could make it. Did you see the happy  couple?” 

“Making out on the couch,” Mat says. “I’ll say hi later.”

“Smart move to not interrupt that,” Tito says. 

“Speaking of not interrupting things,” Chabby says, “Whiter and I are gonna head inside.” 

“Alright,” Mat says, ignoring Chabby’s weird segue. “Later, dude.”

“See you,” Tito says, holding up two fingers in an exhausted approximation of a wave. 

They make their way inside, and then it’s just Mat and Tito, alone, which is a little more than Tito was expecting, but also, kind of nice. 

“Hey, so,” Tito says. “About earlier—” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the whole—yeah,” Mat says, waving his hand. “I only just started. I was gonna mention it.” 

“Oh,” Tito says, and then he shrugs. “Yeah, that’s—whatever.” He pauses. “I meant the part where you told me I had a nice smile.” 

“Oh,” Mat says. 

After a second of silence, Tito prompts, “So?” 

“So what?” Mat says. 

“What was that about?” Tito asks, trying to keep his voice gentle. Mat looks nervous, right now, a little shy, and that’s something Tito’s not used to seeing on him. 

“I mean, your smile is nice,” Mat says. “Just thought I should let you know.” 

“Mat,” Tito says. 

Mat bites his lip. “I dunno. Figured I’d take a chance, I guess.” 

“Take a chance?” 

“Yeah,” Mat says. “Sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

“You were giving me a lap dance, and you’re concerned that telling me I have a nice smile is crossing a line?”

“You paid for the lap dance,” Mat points out, which is fair, but still. 

“I didn’t mind,” Tito says, and then he grins, a little. “I appreciate the compliment, so, thanks, I guess?”

“You’re welcome,” Mat says, but his eyes are fixed on the yard below. 

“I mean,” Tito says, because clearly Mat isn’t getting this yet. “You have a nice smile too.”

“Oh,” Mat says, lifting his head, and his voice sounds weird. 

Tito’s suddenly much more awake, and his heart is beating very, very fast.

There’s a few seconds of them looking at each other, slightly unsure, but then Tito’s hand kind of slips on the railing, passes it off for leaning in, and then Mat starts leaning in too, and then—they’re kissing.

It’s a good kiss. A really good kiss, even though it’s a little unreal, because this is Mat Barzal, who is Tito’s friend, and really great, and arguably hotter right now, in an unassuming t-shirt and dumb beanie and gently kissing Tito, than he was when he was wearing next to nothing and writhing against him. 

Though, that was pretty hot too. 

But this is better, because it’s just them, and Mat thinks Tito has a nice smile, so. 

“That was also nice,” Mat says, breaking away.

Tito’s going to respond, but when he opens his mouth to say words, he ends up yawning instead. “Sorry,” he says. “It’s been a long day.”

“I bet,” Mat says. 

“I think I’m gonna go soon,” Tito says, and then, after a moment of hesitation, he adds, “If you wanna come with me?”

“I’d say yes, but I’m beat,” Mat says. “I don’t think I have the energy for much.” 

“We could just sleep,” Tito says. 

“Oh,” Mat says, smiling a little. “That’s—I like that idea.” 

“I like you,” Tito says, because apparently he’s at the phase of exhaustion where he just says whatever’s on his mind. 

But Mat smiles at that, wide and sweet and awed, so Tito can’t bring himself to regret it. 

**Author's Note:**

> me: mat deserves a stripper au  
> me: a soft, fluffy stripper au  
> me: also mitch and auston are getting married because i say so 
> 
> untagged characters who appear or are mentioned: lawson crouse, travis konecny, mitchell stephens, colin white, matthew tkachuk, nick merkley, connor mcdavid. implied nick/dylan, and like vaguely implied law/tk (implied by the fact that law and tk are in the same story and i wrote it) (they're together don't worry) maybe chabby/whiter who knows!  
> also, i feel compelled to put a disclaimer on this, so if you have a friend irl who works in a strip club, maybe don't take your bachelor party there, for reasons of privacy and safety.
> 
>  **bonus content:**  
>  -mitch's bachelor party is roughly all the boys i love on the 2016 team canada wjc roster.  
> -auston's is the same, except team usa, obviously.  
> -also, their wedding is a city hall ceremony, but it's still really cute, even though most of their friends just treat it as an excuse to turn up every night for the week leading up to it.  
> -william nylander probably got ordained as a minister for it but didn't actually perform the ceremony, so he gets drunk at the afterparty and asks if anyone else wants to get married.  
> -dylan strome seems pretty enthusiastic about the idea, but nick very gently tells dylan that he loves him, but they've only been dating for two months.  
> -speaking of nick merkley, he's also a stripper in this, because why the fuck not.  
> -this is technically a college au, so: mat and tito are econ majors, tito's picking up a computer science minor as well. chabby and colin are both poli sci majors (because SENATORS haha get it). mitch is a linguistics major, dyl's a comp lit major, auston's a math and stats double major.
> 
> I'm lottswrites on tumblr!


End file.
